30kisses MattxNear
by Elisabell-angel enraged
Summary: A set of scraps for the 30 kisses challenge on Livejournal. Will be thirty loosley connected stories. All MattxNear. PG...
1. Chapter 1

Title: I'm the only one who gets your attention

Author: Elisabellangel

Pairing: MattxNear

Fandom: Death Note

Theme: #1, Look over here

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, that right goes to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata, Death Note and this fanfic are both works of fiction not based on actuall events...

Rating: PG

A/N: I created this fic for the 30kisses challenge on livejournal... Um, for those who don't know what this is, it's a series of 30 drabbles on a particular couple using keywords that they give you to write the drabbles. The couple has to kiss at least once in each drabble... Besides I just haven't done any MattxNear fics in... Ever... So I wanted to do that... I was just surprised I was the first to request MattxNear. Please enjoy, for there is much more to come.

Matt stood in the threshold of the playroom, his hand on the wooden door frame, not to mention he was smirking rather widely. He watched the pale figure in the middle of the room, as it slowly put together peices of a puzzle that Matt knew the kid had put together nearly a thousand times.

Matt didn't really understand why he'd gotten used to this, watching Near. Starting to do it, in itself, was more than slightly awkward, especially when he tried to start a conversation. Of the many things Near was, a conversationalist wasn't one of them, mostly it was Matt doing the talking.

Every day, Matt would come in here and watch Near play, talk to him, and whatever else came to mind for the redhead to take part in. A few weeks ago, this would've all seemed odd. A few weeks ago, he never came into the playroom unless he had to. A few weeks ago, he only came into the playroom as a little obedient puppy following his master Mello as he took out his aggression on the passive albino now so peacefull playing on the floor. Matt used to watch with slight horror as Mello pummeled the small boy from all directions, as Near didn't make any moves to retaliate or defend himself in any way whatsoever. Now that he thought back on it, maybe it was a good idea that the kid didn't try to fight back, knowing Mello he could keep fighting all day if he needed to.

The redhead started to feel sorry for the little albino boy, he didn't ask for his position, and he'd obtained the number one spot rightfully. There was no reason for Mello's behavior, so Matt felt the need to make peace with Near.

He started randomly coming into the playroom, and sitting at the window seat, simply watching Near play and mess around. After a while, he even started talking to the kid, and the kid would reply back with his deliberatly vague answers. The kid never complained about Matt's presence nor did he especially encourage it, but the redhead knew that he was enjoying himself because he was simply screwing around and joking a lot.

The only problem Matt had was that Near never seemed to look at him. Since the albino was always doubletasking or more, he always had his attention focused on some robot or playing card, and that irked Matt. He wanted the kid to at least pay attention to him when he was talking, because it just seemed kinda rude for him not to.

One day, he just got fed up with it, and stalked over to Near. He grabbed Near, and tilted the boy's head back, so Near was looking him straight in the eye. He did what he thought would get the kid's unrivaled attention, he pressed a soft kiss to his virgin lips. Matt didn't even know what was going through his head at the time, and wasn't trying to think about it, his only observation was that it felt nice. He leaned back, still holding Near. "Pay attention when I'm talking to you," he told the kid in mock annoyance. Near was simply looking at him in a mixture of shock and interest. Matt was immediatly intrigued. He'd never seen that kind of expression on the boy's face, and was starting to like it. He even caught the very small light pink blush on Near's cheeks.

Matt had been far to intrigued with this, he thought as he stood there in the doorway. He smirked again before calling out to Near, "hey," he said simply. This time Near turned around, looking even the slightest bit happy to see him. "Good morning, Matt."


	2. A simple note

Title: A simple Note

Author: Elisabellangel

Pairing: MattxNear

Fandom: Death Note

Theme: #2 news; letter

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, that right goes to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata... This is a work of fiction not to be taken seriously, and I am not making any profit off of this fic.

A/N: sorry for the dorky Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion joke, it was just the kinda thing that came to mind that Matt would probably think of as well...

A lot had happened to Matt that week, though nothing really compared to his first kiss with Near. It was not the first time Matt had kissed anyone, he'd pretty much just had a bad history with kissing. All of the times he'd been kissed before, it'd been forced on him by some random fangirl proclaiming her undying love for him, or a certain blonde possesive chocolate addict putting the redhead in line, or whatever stupid explanation Mello gave. This was the first time Matt had ever given anyone a kiss, and what was weird was that he wanted to do it again.

There was just something about the little albino, that made Matt want to do it again. Each time he passed by the kid, he'd gotten the urge to do it again, but was doing a surprisingly good job of holding back. It hadn't gone unnoticed that Near had begun addressing Matt and actually looking at him while he talked, and that was certainly a new thing for Near. Matt wondered if the kid was doing that because he didn't want to be kissed again or because he knew it bothered Matt.

The redhead was actually surprised the kid was still talking to him, he'd expected the kid to be more than pissed off at him. Undoubtedly it was Near's first kiss. He'd at least expected Near to tell Roger about it or even refuse the unvocal offers of friendship from Matt, but neither of those things happened. In fact, Near hadn't talked about it at all, as if he was pretending it never happened.

Something in Matt was hurt by this thought, even though he knew he probably shouldn't be. Just the thought that he'd kissed Near was insane and reckless. He was putting the kid in horrible danger, should Mello find out what he'd done... He knew this, and yet he couldn't help but want to do it again. Not only that, but the redhead himself would be in huge trouble. Knowing Mello, the blonde would kick his ass to oblivion in one second, then leave his bleeding unconsious body to be eaten by dremora churls and scamps while Mankar Cameron killed preist Martin.

The next day as Matt walked into the playroom, he noticed that Near had a small letter in his hands. The redhead couldn't help but automatically assume the worst. "Hey," he said a bit louder than he needed to. "Are you getting adopted or something?"

Near looked at him as if he were crazy, "...No... You should know just as well as anyone else does that children here don't get adopted. L wouldn't allow that, especially not me."

Matt shrugged, coming to his senses. He felt an immediate need to apologize for his stupid question, but didn't really want to say those words. "Then what is it?"

Near quickly read over the letter, his annoyance showing more and more with each line that he read, before he set it aside. "It's a love letter," he stated, completely unfazed.

Matt just looked in shock from the albino to the letter and back again, he had a spark of annoyance in his system that he couldn't account a reason for. "Who is it from?" He asked, not liking the fact that there was a small hint of anger in his voice.

"I don't know. I didn't care to read it until the end," the albino remarked, absently messing with a strand of white hair.

The gamer openly gaped at the kid in front of him, he didn't even check? "What if it's someone you like? You know you're taking a chance," this sounded very forced coming from him.

The pale boy shrugged, "I can tell from the writing style that it's a female around age 8 to age 10, definetly not the type of person I'd go for."

A small bit of relief crept it's way into Matt before he could stop it, and he relaxed immensly. "So, you don't like girls, Near?"

Near gave him a look as though that was the most obvious thing in the world, "of course not. I find them more annoying than anything."

Matt couldn't help but let a smirk appear on his face, "so what if a guy gave you a love letter?"

A small second of silence took over the room, before Near decided to answer. "Well, I guess it depends on the person."

With that, Matt got up as fast as he could and left the room, leaving no explanation for his sudden departure. He rammed open the door to his room, and rushed to his desk. Hastily grabbing a pen and a sticky note, he scribbled a few words on it. Then he left his room, unconsiously slamming the door behind him, rushing back to the playroom. He crossed the room in a few wide steps and sat beside Near, holding out the note to him.

The albino just stared at the yellow note in Matt's hands for a few seconds, before taking it. He flipped it over to read it, and, despite the shortness of it, read over it several times. "I want to do it again," Near read off the note, giving Matt a somewhat confused look.

With a small smirk still in place, Matt leaned forward. "I'm glad you feel the same way I do," he said, inwardly praising himself at his own genius as he leaned forward and gently connected there lips. This kiss lasted a bit longer than their last one, but was still relatively short. The gamer leaned back, his smirk had devolved into a simple smile.

Near was giving him a little half-smile, which was something Matt had never seen before, and it made his stomach flutter uncontrollably.

He could tell that Near wasn't oppossed to kissing Matt, and that in itself was a blessing. The redhead was relieved that he didn't need to write the albino some amazing lyrical poetry to be able to get the kid to like him.


	3. Forgiveness

Title: Forgiveness  
Author: Elisabellangel  
Pairing: MattxNear  
Fandom: Death Note  
Theme: #3 Jolt!  
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of its characters. I am not making a profit off of this fanfiction.  
Beta: ithexamimi

Things were proceeding in a way Matt was certainly enjoying. Both he and Near came to a mutual consensus with their so called 'relationship.' In Matt's mind, it hardly registered as anything serious or even anything that required a commitment. The only thing he knew for certain was that he enjoyed kissing Near, and maybe he wanted a little more. They had agreed that it was just an 'informal' relationship, as Near put it, but Matt didn't really care how Near wanted to describe it.

The redhead had been going more and more out of his way to find Near because he wanted to. That was odd enough itself. Matt was the type of person who could really care less about others. He liked hanging around Mello, but that was only because he was an interesting person. Other people were pretty much out of the question. However, Near was added to the very small list of others Matt didn't mind going out of his way to see

Right now was one of those times where the gamer was looking for the little albino boy. Searching everywhere he could, no matter the likelyhood of Near's prescence there. After a bit, he eventually spotted Near in the empty common room. It was obvious why the albino had chosen to come here; the other common room had quite a few noisy new arrivals crammed in it. He simply watched Near for a minuit, it was interesting how completely feminine the boy could be at times. Near was playing with small blocks, stacking them so carefully that it was almost elegant. It was a beautiful sight, and it was something Matt enjoyed seeing.  
Matt approached the small boy quietly, bending down and wrapping his arms around the kid.Near jolted high up in surprise, the reaction was almost ridiculous. It was almost as if the boy thought he was being attacked by a serial murderer.  
"Hey, calm down," Matt said in a more than confused tone.  
Immediately the small boy slumped, relaxing to the best of his body's ability. "Sorry," he said in a small voice, barely audible. "It was just a reflex. he mumbled in a vain explanation.

Matt couldn't help but be curious as to why Near would respond like that to the simple act of being touched. "Why would you say that?" He hoped Near would give him an actual answer instead of the usual little obscure answer he gave for everything he wasn't serious about.  
Luckily, the albino was willing to cooperate in that sense and decided to give him a real simple answer. "I'm not used to being touched in such a manner."

It was the truth, but it was obvious that there was a bit more to it than that, though Matt wouldn't test his luck. He was already pushing it more than enough with Near, so it might be dangerous to try to go any farther.He tilted Near's head back, willing to let the conversation fade away for now. Matt smirked lightly as he recalled that this was how he'd kissed Near for the first time, more than a week ago. His smirk slowly faded as he gently pressed his lips softly on Near's. Being careful not to rush was something Matt knew he had to do. He didn't want to make this any more risky for the both of them than it already was.Matt lingered his lips on Near's for a few more seconds as if he were apoligizing in a different form before finnally letting their lips part, though maintaining a certain closeness. He couldn't help but simply stare for a minuit, noticing that some color had gotten into Near's face. That was an extremely rare sight, and knowing that he could induce that kind of reaction gave him a shot of adrenaline. He knew that he shouldn't think like that, simply because he almost felt as though he was being too forcefull. As though he was making the boy act the way Matt wanted him to.

"I'm sorry for that," the redhead said seriously.

Near simply stared at him silently for a few seconds before responding, "You didn't do anything wrong."

Matt simply shrugged, smiling lightly. "Just apologizing in case you wanted me to."

It was obvious that Near was a bit upset that he'd been shocked like that, though Matt noticed that the kid easily forgave him. Being forgiven so easily could be a problem because Matt could easily take advantage of Near's 'kindness.'

"I could so easily take advantage of you. You know this right?" The redhead asked in a mock serious tone.

Near shrugged. "I doubt you would."

Matt smiled again, glad to know that Near didn't think he was some kind of heartless asshole who would take advantage of him. "You know, Near? I think you know me pretty well for someone who has only really known me for a week."

"You're easy to read," Near said letting a small smirk come over his face.

"You've become easier to read lately as well." Matt pointed to the kid, almost as if kidding around with the fact he'd been able to make Near show some emotion.  
Matt noticed some footsteps nearing and jumped back away from the boy. He didn't relish the idea of other people finding out about his and Near's 'relationship.' It would be possible that Mello would find out if rumors started going around. Then, likely they'd be dead.  
It would be hard to act unflustered around the other kids, so he had no choice but to leave. He turned to Near and pouted like a sad puppy.

"Looks like I'll just have to corner you some other time," Matt said sadly.

Matt took a few steps out of the room, and it was halfway down the hall before he heard the small footsteps following him.

He turned back to notice that Near was following him.  
"You're always following me around, so I thought it'd be best to return the favor," was all Near responded with.  
Matt simply smiled and shrugged, actually really liking the idea of Near following him. He simply walked forward, smiling widely and suddenly in an extremely great mood.


	4. Jealousy

Jealousy (Death Note, MattxNear, 4. Our distance and that person)

Title: Jealousy

Author: Elisabell_angel

Theme: 4. Our distance and that person

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note... or anything associated with Death note...

Pairing: MattxNear

POV: First person, Matt's POV

A/N: Mods... Everyone... Sorry for the wait...

I guess... Maybe I am a little paranoid...

I feel like I'm acting a little like Mello, but even though I tell myself I'm being an idiot about it, I can't help myself from being this way...

L tends to visit once every holiday rolls around... Usually the big ones like Christmas and Easter. When he does he always spends time with some of the ones in line to be his successor.

Of course, I'm not one of them.

I'm just number three... It looks as though I'm not important enough for the great L's attention. On the other hand, Near and Mello seem to be.

He always asks to talk to them. Not knowing what it's about, brings bad things into my head. I become excessively curious about what is going on in those private meetings. I try to sneak in, but I always get caught... It's not as easy as it looks in Metal Gear Solid.

Before, I was only concerned for Mello. Thoughts like 'Maybe L was making him feel inferior to Near' and the like would go through my head... but then lately... Such thoughts as 'what do Near and L do when they're together?' sifts through my mind.

I guess it's just me being protective. Let's face it, I don't really think I have anything that is especially dear to me. Mello has many things, many people he cares for... but all I have is Near... I'm content with just that... but the thought of loosing the one thing I have to protect makes me worried.

I sit outside of the door now. Listening in on their meeting. Never hearing what they saying, but only small movements. If I hear any noise over a certain pitch, I make up some excuse to go inside. I know they have already caught on to the fact that I listen in. Near could care less, but L... He just smiles... I don't understand him or that all-knowing smile.

He thinks he knows me...

Who am I kidding? He probably does...

He can see right through me... and that's why I hate him.

All of my thoughts seem to circle on one idea.. 'what if L kissed Near?'... During those meetings, there was no telling what happened...

Just the thought made my blood boil...

I really am just like Mello.


	5. Left Behind

Title: Left Behind

Author: Elisabell_angel

Pairing: MattxNear

Fandom: Death Note

Theme: #6 "ano sa" ("hey, you know..."

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, but if I did most things wouldn't be changed...Purely fictional and all that rot...

Hey... You know? .... I might actually have been happy when Mello was gone..

I knew it was wrong to think that way, I was his friend after all.... But I couldn't get it out of my head.

We didn't have to sneak around any more, we didn't have to hide. We could be together, without worrying if something bad would happen.

but...

There was something missing.

Mello had not taken me with him, and I felt a bit shafted that he didn't. The fact that he didn't consider me was something I couldn't forget about. Many months later I had to find him myself, what bullshit.

We were friends and this was how he treated me?

Then again, I probably wasn't even his friend.

Sneaking around with Near, all of those secrets I kept; they didn't help either. The problem was that Mello didn't really care about me. He was just that way. He tended to make friends easily but was only really using them for his convenience. I wasn't especially important in any sense.

Near... He took me seriously, and I guessed that's why I went to him. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't even have considered it.

I think I killed him when I left.

When I went to find Mello.

Whenever I saw him after that, he really wasn't the same.

He avoided me; he avoided my gaze as he had done with so many others. I was nothing more than Linda or any of the others. I wasn't anyone special anymore. All because I had gone after Mello.

"Hey, you know... I still hate myself for it."

The fact that my little shreds of happiness were taken away by my own hand. I just couldn't accept normality. I couldn't accept the fact that Mello wasn't there anymore, and the facts were scaring me. Freedom was never my strong suit. I was used to being told what to do, and Near didn't do that.

The kisses we had shared had fallen back into lands of myth; hard to believe anything like that had happened at all. For my lips were cold now, frozen without his there.

When I look back on those times when I was so innocently just doing as I saw fit; trying not to believe in the day those things would change... I try to imagine that those kisses were nothing more than a release of whatever my childish self wanted, but I knew that was not the case.

"Hey, you know... I still miss you even after all this time."


	6. Hush

Title: Hush  
Author: Elisabell_angel  
Pairing: MattxNear  
Theme: #6 the space between dream and reality  
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or anything present in it.

A/N: very short... A drabble more than anything. Also told in the first person, so technically it could be any pairing you want.. I just imagine it as MattxNear, because it's what comes to my head first ^_^.

I would have those dreams all of the time, don't you remember?

Every time I tried to sleep, or so it seemed, I would have the same one over and over again. Recurring dreams weren't entirely unusual, but I never thought it would happen to me. I didn't do anything to deserve such a terrifying (for the certainly were) experience every time I let my guard down to sleep. It got to the point where I would go out of my way to avoid sleep, to try and keep myself awake.

When did you start doing the same?

The first few weeks when I tried to avoid sleep, I would wander the orphanage just to give me something to do. When did you start appearing in the common room? I think I started to notice you there at the sixth week. You would just be sitting in the common room, not doing anything in particular. Somehow, you always seemed to know me as a creature of routine. You knew when I'd pass by the common room and what time I would. Every time I passed it, I always saw you watching me. You looked as though you wanted to tell me something. Why didn't you ever just say it, then?

Years had passed since then, and you seemed even more concerned about the dreams as time passed.

I guess, it was just concern.. I wanted to believe it wasn't pity.

You had impecable timing, whenever you thought I needed it you'd come and stay in my room. We'd just sleep. I'd still have the dreams, but having you there certainly made it easier to handle. You were always so calm and collected even when I was so pitiable.

Small kisses and whispers of 'it's all right' as though you thought they would make it stop. It never did stop the dreams, but it made them more tolerable.

I'm not even aware of them anymore.. To me, it just seems like one big dream... This can't be real, it just can't. With all of the unexplainable things around me, it must be a dream.

I'm just waiting to wake up, so that you can comfort me again. Even if it is pity.


	7. His Own little Victory

A/N: Just a short little drabble this time.. The prompt being Superstar.

As the third best, there was little expected of Matt. He was just considered as the backup in case the unthinkable happened and the first and second died. He didn't get any special treatment like Mello and Near did... They were fawned over by the entire school, treated almost like superhuman abilities... and what was Matt? .. He was ordinary at best, sometimes he felt less than ordinary.

Games were his only skill, and that couldn't be used to take a position as the next L... Couldn't really be used for anything, right? Even if it was a useless skill, Matt was able to find some comfort in it. He just got such a rush from beating Mello or Near at a game. Mainly, it was just to know that he could excel at something. It kept him from going on a murderous ramapage at least...

When he got older he started learning how to gamble from some of his other friends. Then the games became more or less a time where he cleaned out the pockets of the other kids. It was easy to beat them, no sweat.. At first it was just money, but then it soon turned into something else.. Cigarettes were his main request. He'd developed a taste for them that Mello hadn't, and thought they made him look classy.

Near was the smart one, he knew that he would never win against Matt so he stopped playing. Matt was a little dissapointed by this refusal, because it meant no more demeaning little victory kisses from Near.. The cigarettes made him classy, but the kisses made him feel like he'd truly won achieved something.

Oh well, stealing that acheivement wasn't so bad either.


End file.
